


Just Follow Me, I Know the Area

by debwalsh



Series: Fictober 2019 [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Advertising for a Cause, Fictober 2019, Kittens, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Troll Steve Rogers, trolling tony stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 09:53:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/pseuds/debwalsh
Summary: In which Bucky volunteers Steve to do a photo shoot for one of Bucky’s favorite places.  Steve might even pick up a friend or three in the process.Here’s my submission for day 2 of Fictober 2019:  Just Follow Me, I Know the Area.





	Just Follow Me, I Know the Area

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Batwynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batwynn/gifts).

> Brahn and Bitsy are inspired by two of my favorite entities on Instagram. Hope you guys enjoy!

“C’mon.”

“Buck -‘

“C’mon, babe.Just follow me.I know the area.”

“What, this where your coffee klatch meets on Tuesdays?”

“It’s a coven, and it meets Wednesdays.Then we go to Miss Bitsy’s and play with the kittens.”

“Well, okay then.Why didn’t you say?”

“Because you’re a pain in my fine ass, that’s why.Could’a asked, y’know.Why’d you think I suggested this place?”

“I dunno.Cos the name sounds weird?”

“Don’t tell Brahn that.Miss Bitsy’s his favorite kitty.She’s a charmer and a bit of a diva. Loaded with personality and cattitude.”

“You made that up.”

“Did not.”

“There’s no such word as cattitude.”

“Sez you.Spend a little more time on the Internet, boyo.Expand your mind and your vocabulary.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s not what you said this morning when I was f-“

“Buck!”

“Don’t do it if you can’t say it, Steve.And you do it a whole lot.So you’re gonna have to learn to say the words and not turn 17 shades of red.Course we’ve been doing it since ‘35 and you still can’t choke the words out, so who’m I kidding, huh?”

“You just can’t let it go, can you.”

“What can I say?I dream of the day my fella learns to talk dirty to me.That would really get my motor running, y’know?But no.He still can’t get over the teachings of Sister John Xavier.It’s like having a big black specter in bed with us.”

“Oh, you had to make it weird.Now I’m gonna see her whenever we’re, you know.Doing it.”

“You can banish her with dirty talk, Steve.She won’t stick around if you use your words to describe what you wanna do to me.Hell, you can just add a running commentary on what you are doing to me.You’re a wizard in bed, but your tongue gets all tied up.Except when you stick it up my -“

“Buck!” Steve practically screeched, grabbing his boyfriend around the metal bicep and pulling him back.“Is that the place?” he pointed toward a quaint storefront with dark wood and big plate windows, nestled between an eco-friendly dry cleaner and a wealth advisor.“Hey, think I should stop in at the money guy?Sell the illusion?”

“I think after the shoot you need to treat me to ice cream at Fontana’s across the street.And we have to bring some back for Miss Bitsy.”

“You give a new meaning to pussy whipped, Buck.”

“See, you can talk about their parts, but not ours!”

“I meant pussy as in cat, not ... you know.”

“It’s a good thing you’re cute.And you’ve got a big -“

“Hey, is that Brahn?” Steve spoke loudly over Bucky at that point, which only earned him a snicker and nod.

“Yo, B, baby!” he greeted as the attractive young man opened the door for them.Brahn was quite a bit shorter than Steve or Bucky, in his late 20s, with tinted glasses, a bit of scruff, and a sweet smile.He turned that on both Bucky and Steve as they filed into the shelter.

“Yo, B right back at ya, man.So this the SO?” he asked, waving toward the general Stevitude.

“This is Steve.Steve, this is Brahn.He’s owned by Miss Bitsy.”

“Got that right.You following her on Instagram yet?Guarantee you the biggest cattitude in the smaller frigging cat, man.She’s already got more followers that the entire staff combined.”

“Dude, I think I was the first!Not gonna miss a moment of our Miss Bits.Where is her majesty?”

“Last I saw her, she was in the back, supervising the photographer Ms. Potts sent over, but I think she wandered off for a nap.Cute kid, by the way.Stark starts training ‘em young.Oh, hey, where are my manners?” Brahn asked, thrusting out his hand to Steve, who took it with a big grin and a gentle handshake.“I’m Brahn, and I’m so grateful for your help.We’re coming up on kitten season, and if we can just get even a few more people to spay their cats, we can cut down on so much suffering.”

“It’s a great cause.I’m happy to help.”

“Yeah, and the idea Bucky came up with - it’s gonna be funny and get the message across in a unique way.It’s ... yeah.Can’t wait.”

“Bucky’s idea?Gonna share with the class?” Steve asked, swiveling toward his boyfriend with a suspicious look.

“Nah.We’re nearly there, anyway.”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, keep thinking that, pal. You’ll be singing a different tune when I get my mouth on your -“

“Buck!”

&&&

Bucky and Brahn worked with the kittens to carefully place them on and around Steve, only to have the little fuzz balls dig in with their tiny needle-like claws, and piton their ways up and down Steve’s uniform.Steve even had a pair of tuxedo kittens decide to duke it out for who got to snooze on his head.Then they both fell asleep and he now had a little fuzzy tail hanging down over his eyes.Another pair had taken up residence on his left shoulder.

For his own part, Steve was grateful he was wearing the Captain America suit.He might heal fast, but kitten scratches stung, and he could do without doing an impression of super soldier hamburger.

“Y’know, Stevie, I think this could be our Christmas card this year.Deck the Cap with lots of kittens,” Bucky warbled happily as he took a little blue-eyed white kitten and draped her artfully on Steve’s right shoulder.“Drape a couple strands of lights on you, and we’re all set.”

“Har-har,” Steve quipped.“We done yet?”

“One more litter,” Brahn said, holding up a finger and grinning at Steve.“Brb.”

The little white kitten had actually settled in pretty well, nestled against Steve’s neck, and purring loudly. She was incredibly soft and warm, and Steve was starting to feel a little drowsy with all the purring and body heat enveloping him.

“How’d you come up with this idea anyway, Buck?”

“Oh, I just tried to imagine the most ridiculous photo op possible to let Stark think he’s winning.And then it was a no-brainer.Kittens.”

“Stacking kittens all over me is gonna make Tony think he’s winning?”

“He’ll look at this and figure you really thought you needed the money.Not that you’ve got a heart big as the five boroughs, and that this is a worthy cause. Hey, Parker!You’re sworn to secrecy, right?”

“I report to Ms. Potts and Ms. Potts only, sir.She briefed me on the mission, sir,” the young intern snapped out like a field report.

“At ease, Parker.Whaddya think?” Bucky asked, stepping back to showcase his handiwork.

“Needs more kittens,” Parker replied gravely, nodding to himself.

“And I got the last litter right here,” Brahn announced, cradling three tiny ginger babies in his hands.“And MIss Bits is up from her nap, so she’s probably gonna join the shoot.”

Steve was afraid to turn his head, lest he dislodge the kittens snoozing in his hair, so he held his head still and just asked, “All of these litters were dropped off?”

“Most, yeah.These little guys were born here, but someone brought their mom in.Miss Potts arranged a grant for us, so we can fund a pretty decent number of spays, but we need people to bring their cats in to make it happen.”

“And that’s where you come in, honeybun.Damn, you look cute!”

The little gingers were curled in Steve’s joined hands, a somnolent bundle of soft fur whose heat rivaled his.He bit his lip, and glanced guiltily up at Bucky.

“I know that look.Steve, we can’t adopt them all.”

“But, Buck -“

“No, Steve.They’re all too little. And whaddya gonna do, smuggle ‘em into the Tower?”

“I can bribe Jarvis.”

“Bribe an AI.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“But cute -“

“Keep going, this is great,” Parker announced from where he was moving around them, taking photos rapid fire.

“I didn’t know we started -“

“Oh, I’ve been taking pictures since you sat down, Captain, sir.” 

“You sure this is gonna help?”

“I assure you, Captain, the visuals will get people’s attention.And the fact you’re putting yourself behind the cause of population control?People will notice.It’ll be good for the cats. And you can come visit them any time.Right, Buck?Gonna bring him with your coven next Wednesday?”

“Hell, no.That’s me time.Nope, we’re gonna make other arrangements.And I gotta feeling it’s not gonna be a one-time visit, either.”

“Well, Alpine is still waiting for you to fill out her paperwork.”

“Gonna smuggle her into the Tower?”

Just then, Bitsy, a beige, brown, and black tortie with a smudgy stripe of beige going down her nose, chose that moment to saunter into the area where they were shooting, and shout her opinions into the void with a loud, drawn out meow.Then she strutted over to Steve and climbed in his lap and started to groom the ginger kittens still cradled in his palms.

“Well, Miss Bitsy approves,” Brahn noted with a chuckle. “Guess it’s settled.”

“Guess so,” Bucky agreed with a grin.Steve could only roll his eyes, since every other part of his anatomy was covered in kittens.

&&&

“What’s this?Flogging cat food?If you’re that hard up you have to do cat food commercials, I can spot you a bil or two, Cap.”

“It’s for charity.Donated my time, got a cat in return.Kitten.Kittens.Bucky got a cat.See, ‘adopt don’t shop’.‘Spaying saves lives’. There’s a whole bunch of them.”

“Wouldn’a pegged you for a cat guy.Then again, Barnes.Yeah, I guess you are a cat guy.”

Steve glanced over to where Bucky lay under his mound of blankets, a beautiful white cat snuggled safely dead center of the blanket pile, with a pair of tuxedo kittens and a tiny white ball of fluff curled up against her, and he smiled.“Yeah, I guess I am.”

END

**Author's Note:**

> There may or may not be art coming to go with this. ‘Cos the image of Steve draped in kittens is killing me!


End file.
